Arrrrgh 2.0...!

Cap'n Shino (talkin' like a pirate): By the trident of Neptune! Today be "Talk Like A Pirate Day"!! The contraption I be typing on now on land was so kind enough to be tellin' me that 'tis so.
(Translation: Holy crap! Today's another "Talk Like A Pirate Day"!! The computer I'm on at school told me this on the login screen.)

I know what ye be all thinking. That I, the Great Cap'n Shino, have no time to be talkin' to the likes of ye. Ye be right, then. I have many a scrolls to be scribing in, but I have only one half of an hour of this time of freedom before me assigned scheduled imprisonment.
(Translation: I know, I know. I shouldn't be doing this again. I still have HW to do, but again, I only have like half an hour of free-time before class.)

'Tis a shame, though, for I be forgetting to dress in the appropriate attire for an extraordinary day such as this. It be also a shame that I be having many humurous tales to tell, but it be too hard to do so in this mannerism of talk. A thought just crossed me thoughts, but if ye be reading this without the knowledge of it being spoken like a true pirate, it may look just a wee-bit formal-like, get me drift?
(Translation: Dang, I forgot to dress up for today again. I was going to tell a bunch more stupid stories from school, but it's too hard to do it talking like a pirate. :P Hey, if someone didn't know I was trying to talk like a pirate, it would look like I'm talking fancy-ish, don't you think?)

Skipper Levi should be coming to talk like all seafaring men also. I be going to need a word with that man. What he be thinking, forgetting such a glorious day as this!? I should have him walkin' the plank for this mutiney! What ye say? That I be forgetting today also? That I should be walkin' the plank too? WHO DO YE THINK I BE!!? I be Captain Shino! Captain! For that I should send ye to Davy Jones' Locker also ye scurvy dog!
(Translation: Levi should come talk like a pirate here too. What's he thinking, forgetting today of all days!? He should be punished for being so disloyal! Huh? I forgot today too? So I should be punished too? WHO THE CRAP DO YOU THINK I AM!!? XD I'm Shino, biatch! The Asain! I hope you get headshotted for that n00b!)